End of an era

My eldest daughter, Jackie, nuzzled her way up and latched on to my breast whilst I was still in the recovery room after her caesarean birth over six years ago, and I’ve been physically nourishing my children ever since. In fact, I’ve been either pregnant or breastfeeding (or both) for longer than I was in … Continue reading End of an era

Fake it ’til you make it

Someone once told me that, however bad you're feeling, simply smiling will make you feel happier. It’s to do with the physical action of moving your face muscles triggering neural pathways involved in emotion. Or something. I don't know whether it’s scientifically proven, anecdotal, or just bullshit. Anyway, I wonder if the same can be … Continue reading Fake it ’til you make it

What should a four year old be?

At four, Benjamin should be a cute, tousle-headed, tearaway by now. In and out of the paddling pool all summer; under my feet all winter. Chattering nineteen to the dozen. Learning to pee on a ping-pong ball. Spoiling his big sister’s games, and being too rough with his little sister. Big enough to be making … Continue reading What should a four year old be?

Ten things you may not know about SEN parents

This post was written for the #SEND30daychallenge, day 2: ‘Ten things you don’t know about…’ I’ve changed it to ‘Ten things you may not know about…’ because I’m sure some of my readers – especially those who are SEN parent themselves – will know every one of them! What would you add? We are brave. … Continue reading Ten things you may not know about SEN parents

Therapy for two

To be honest, I’m terrible at making time to do therapy with Benjamin. A quick stretch while I’m changing his nappy. A couple of rolls when we’re getting dressed in the morning. Plonk him in his chair facing in a slightly different direction each day, give him some toys to look at and that’s about … Continue reading Therapy for two

Just because it’s difficult, doesn’t make it right

A few of days ago an article popped up on my timeline. It was entitled How working in an abortion clinic changed my mind about terminations, and was written by a student midwife, Lucy Kelly. A bit ‘clickbaity,’ but I was baited and I clicked. It is a beautifully written, convincing, strongly worded essay. The … Continue reading Just because it’s difficult, doesn’t make it right

What women want

Or at least, what this woman thinks she wants... As I write this, it’s International Women’s Day. People around the world are tweeting about great women, inspiring women, beautiful women, high-flying women, much-loved women. We’re valuing women and their achievements, as we should be. But some women don’t feel so high-achieving. The online parenting forums … Continue reading What women want

Responsibility

If you’re a parent, you may remember that feeling of arriving home from the hospital, putting baby in his/her car seat down in the middle of the room, and realising, Shit, I’ve got to keep this thing alive. With Benjamin, that’s an experience that happens over and over again. The more hospital stays he has, … Continue reading Responsibility

The long months

The eight months since that positive test have felt like the longest of my life. On top of the relentless tiredness, sickness, heartburn, constipation, nosebleeds, piles (am I oversharing yet?); on top of the endless scans and tests; has been the constant – and increasingly impossible – battle not to acknowledge this pregnancy, and the … Continue reading The long months

We become warriors

There is no greater warrior than a mother protecting her child (N.K.Jemisin) When Jackie turned one, she started at nursery two days a week. It meant that I could return to work, and that she could benefit from interacting with other children and adults. Although of course I missed her (I would run all the … Continue reading We become warriors