What a difference a drug makes

I’ve often joked that Benjamin is my easiest child. At least, alongside a five-year-old who will burst into tears if you suggest she watches CBeebies instead of Youtube (or, God forbid, actually turn the TV off), and a one-year-old who will literally climb the furniture to get at anything she shouldn’t have. He doesn’t answer … Continue reading What a difference a drug makes

Therapy for two

To be honest, I’m terrible at making time to do therapy with Benjamin. A quick stretch while I’m changing his nappy. A couple of rolls when we’re getting dressed in the morning. Plonk him in his chair facing in a slightly different direction each day, give him some toys to look at and that’s about … Continue reading Therapy for two

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

(Charles Dickens; A Tale of Two Cities) The experiences of our little household pale into insignificance against the backdrop of political turmoil, cultural change, and sad losses amongst our beloved SWAN community, that characterised so much of 2016. Nonetheless, we had our own ups and downs… Our year started on a knife edge as we … Continue reading It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Being Benjamin’s mum

I don’t know why I still subscribe to them. Those weekly emails from the parenting websites listing the milestones my children ‘should’ be reaching at three weeks, three months, three years. It’s weaning time! … How to get your toddler to sleep … Starting school … and, this week, 50 reasons why it’s fun to … Continue reading Being Benjamin’s mum

What Zika virus means to me

“Zika virus could be bigger global health threat than Ebola” … “WHO holds emergency meeting” … “Global health emergency” … “Obama has a new plan to fight Zika,” scream the headlines. There’s something fascinating about an emerging tropical disease isn’t there? No matter how much sympathy we feel for people caught up in the Ebola … Continue reading What Zika virus means to me

Gambling

I haven’t blogged for several weeks. I couldn’t. My mind and body have been consumed with something that I – and my family – weren’t yet ready to share. We have decided to try for another baby. Some might say this was a brave decision. I’m sure others would call it reckless, selfish, ... crazy. … Continue reading Gambling

Highs and lows of a feeding tube

It’s been a few weeks now since Benjamin got his mic-key button fitted. The operation went smoothly and we were home in a couple of days. Beforehand, I asked “will this give me my happy little boy back?” With all the research on earth we weren’t going to know the answer to that question without … Continue reading Highs and lows of a feeding tube

It will get easier

“It will get easier,” they said. Once he gets past the ‘two year old functioning as a new-born’ phase and into the ‘five year old functioning as a one year old’ phase it will be more rewarding, less thankless, more fun. Of course, there’s no guarantee he ever will move on from his present stage … Continue reading It will get easier

Dreams

You know that wonderful feeling you get watching a sleeping child? That sense of peace, and of promise. That perfect little nose. Those long dark lashes and wayward curly hair. That soft, soft cheek under your lips as you kiss him ever-so-gently. The little sucking motions he makes as he dreams. You wonder what he’s … Continue reading Dreams

To tube or not to tube

‘Failure to thrive,’ it used to be called. Nowadays it’s ‘faltering weight.’ Both terms to strike fear into a mother; neither does justice to our daily battle to keep Benjamin’s weight within the realms of ‘normal,’ our weekly visit to the centile graph, the results of which are dutifully emailed to the dietician in case … Continue reading To tube or not to tube