At four, Benjamin should be a cute, tousle-headed, tearaway by now. In and out of the paddling pool all summer; under my feet all winter. Chattering nineteen to the dozen. Learning to pee on a ping-pong ball. Spoiling his big sister’s games, and being too rough with his little sister. Big enough to be making … Continue reading What should a four year old be?
I’m sitting in a trendy coffee-shop, drinking a chai latte and tapping away on my laptop. There are no children to disturb my thoughts. I could be another (mature, obviously) student, a freelancer, a traveller catching up on email. Three ladies are knitting at the table next to mine. They don’t know that I’m waiting. … Continue reading Waiting
If you’re a parent, you may remember that feeling of arriving home from the hospital, putting baby in his/her car seat down in the middle of the room, and realising, Shit, I’ve got to keep this thing alive. With Benjamin, that’s an experience that happens over and over again. The more hospital stays he has, … Continue reading Responsibility
“But Mummy it’s Monday. I always go swimming on a Monday,” she said, bursting into tears. I felt myself tearing up too. Disappointed with her that she couldn’t go. Frustrated that I couldn’t make it right. Guilty that it was my fault. Because I’d expected this. For two and a half years, while he surprised … Continue reading The unexpected