A few days ago, in a fit of frustration, I churned out a quick post about parking. Exciting, huh? But to my surprise it’s received over 11,000 views and generated a whole lot more Twitter traffic than I’ve ever had before.
So, what gives? Even posts I’ve sponsored on Facebook rarely get more than a few hundred views. Of all the posts I’ve written – on the difficulties of being undiagnosed, on the amazing work of children’s hospices, on the sanctity of human life, even on the importance of properly accessible toilets (which are certainly more scarce and arguably more important than parking bays), it’s the one on parking that’s sparked the most interest. I’m not bragging; I’m gutted.
So, what gives? Sure, in the UK we love our cars. We talk about the traffic almost as much as we talk about the weather. Victoria Coren Mitchell, presenter of Radio 4’s Women Talking About Cars, said the other day that for women, especially, cars represent a very special combination of both freedom and safety. For people with disabilities, cars probably mean even more in both those respects. Having only had one for six months, I love my Benjamin’s car, although I wish we didn’t have to use it so much. But I certainly don’t love parking – once I’ve got within a yard or two of the kerb I just want to shut the door and forget about it.
So, what gives? Sure, in the UK we hate being told what to do – whether by a traffic warden, or Brussels, or a yellow line on the road and a blue badge in the window. But does that fully explain why I struck such a chord (or hit such a nerve, depending on your side of the debate) with a post about parking?
My theory is, it’s because parking is one of the few everyday battle lines between the disabled and the able. In fact, it’s one of the few situations in which disabled people are actually visible in our society. Yes, the able can complain about those of us ‘scrounging’ benefits. They can complain about us giving birth to children who will be nothing but a drain on society. They can complain about the effect inclusion has on the educational achievement of their mainstream children (hint: bugger all, apart from possibly making them less judgemental than their parents). But unless you actually know a person with a disability, you are unlikely to come up against these issues every day. Yet even if you don’t know a person with a disability, you probably park in a supermarket, school or public car park on a fairly regular basis.
And that’s the root of the problem really, isn’t it. Many people simply don’t know a person with a disability – or don’t realise they do. The Disabled Children’s Partnership, a coalition of charities campaigning to improve support for disabled children, young people and families, last week launched a new campaign called The Secret Life of Us. The aim of the campaign is to change the fact that an amazing 43% of the British public don’t know anyone who is disabled.
In parking, the 57% of us who have a disability, care for someone with a disability, or know someone with a disability, come directly up against the 43% who, through no fault of their own, don’t think they know anyone with a disability. The former know all too well the need for disabled bays, and cannot understand why anyone else would park in such spaces when they are so clearly needed. The latter cannot see the need for disabled bays, consider them an unearned privilege – particularly if we are not in a wheelchair, do not look disabled, or have children that are small enough to lift – and don’t see why they shouldn’t use them when it suits them.
So maybe this is where we should start. At the battle line. At one of the few places where the 57% become visible to the 43%. Disabled parking spaces are all about accessibility. Without accessibility it is very hard to have inclusion. Without inclusion it’s impossible to have integration. Without integration, it is extremely difficult to foster understanding. And without understanding, well why the hell shouldn’t I use that disabled parking space to save me a couple of minutes of my valuable time as a contributing member of society popping into the shop to get a pint of milk? It’s a vicious circle.
The Secret Life of Us campaign aims to break that circle, to help us – the 43% and the 57% – get to know one another. Now, the 43% can’t do anything about this – they don’t know we exist, remember. Their hands are tied. It’s up to us, the 57%, to start building awareness, to be brave and not shy away from sharing our stories and showing our lives in all their flaws and their beauty. Because everyone’s life – disabled or not – has flaws and it has beauty.
If you read my blog (thank you!) you’ll have a glimpse of that: stressful, sometimes traumatic, hard work, rewarding, ever-changing and featuring rather a lot of bodily fluids… But there’s a lot more I can do. Everyone in my community knows Benjamin, but not everyone in my community knows that I had anorexia in my twenties. I’m in awe of friends who are becoming more open about their mental health – in person and on social media. Social media certainly has a role to play here: the ease with which we can share The Secret Lives of Us – anonymously if we wish to – makes now an ideal time to bridge the gap between the 57% and the 43%.
I’m not saying we all need to go around shouting about our bowel movements and breakdowns and whether we’ve had breakfast all day long… but if the 57% can share a little more and the 43% can listen a little more, maybe we can all judge a little less. Because parking shouldn’t be a battle line. There shouldn’t be any everyday battle lines. ‘The disabled population is the world’s largest minority of which anyone can become a part at any time.’ We are the 57% – and one day you might be too.
If you would like to be involved in the Disabled Children’s Partnership, you can sign up at http://e-activist.com/ea-action/action?ea.client.id=78&ea.campaign.id=71897, follow it on Facebook and on Twitter. Share your stories, and read others, using the hashtag #SecretLifeofUs