Forty-four reasons to laugh or cry

It’s never quiet in a family of five. I’m not sure we’re any more vocal than anyone else but we certainly couldn’t be accused of bottling things up… Here are, in no particular order, 44 things that made one or more of us laugh, or cry, this weekend. Points for guessing which. Double points for guessing who. Unusually for us, only about 10% of these seem to involve bodily functions…

  1. Nobody else wanting to get up

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2. Everybody else wanting to get up

3. Somebody snoring

4. Being hungry

5. Wind (not the weather kind)

6. Rain (the weather kind)

7. Tiredness (physical)

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8. Tiredness (emotional)

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9. Cold toes

10. Hot fingers

11. The Archers

12. Being undressed (for a bath)

13. Not being allowed to undress (nowhere near a bath)

14. A helium balloon

15. Muddy puddles

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16. Muddy clothes

17. Finding an exciting plant in a verge

18. Nettles

19. Wanting ketchup

20. Wanting ice cream

21. Mummy pretending not to understand the words “ice cream”

22. Somebody puking up a whole boobful of precious milk

23. Somebody puking up the other boobful of precious milk

24. Somebody getting puked on

25. Somebody getting pooed on

26. Needing a poo

27. Tummy ache of unidentified origin (often related to #26 but this was a different person)

28. Being fobbed off with ‘fake’ (supermarket own-brand) calpol

29. Being allowed ‘real’ (pink) Calpol®

30. Falling off a bike

31. A grown man on a zipwire

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32. A complicated recipe

33. Nobody understanding what the white thing in the river was

34. Somebody shaking their head to get water out of their ears and somebody else genuinely thinking they were having a seizure

35. Not having done any writing

36. Somebody checking his phone for the umpteenth time to see if the bike parts he’d ordered at midnight last night had been despatched yet

37. The softness of a baby’s hair

38. Somebody else crying

39. Everybody else crying

40. Wanting to go to bed

41. Not wanting to go to bed

42. A naked kangaroo impression (by which I mean the impressionist was naked … As far as I’m aware kangaroos don’t usually wear clothes)

43. Not having enough animals in the bed

44. The ridiculous number of stuffed animals in someone’s bed

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On the whole, it’s the laughter we’ll remember…

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