Ode to a special (needs) dad

Ten years now you’ve stood by me,
And such a lot has changed.
I know I’m not the girl you wed,
Our lives are rearranged.

I feel I always let you down
Ever since the day we met:
You thought you’d pulled a cheeky blonde,
Woke up with a brunette.

I wonder if I bore you now,
No longer a high-flyer.
And all I have to talk about
Is what the kids require.

I know you’re tired, we both are, whacked:
Two under three spells trouble.
And when one’s special needs as well
The effort’s more than double.

And I know you feel responsible –
You don’t just change the odd nappy –
For keeping me and both the kids
Fed and clothed and happy.

I guess it’s just a bloke thing,
(plus you’re an engineer)
To feel you have to “fix” things,
Like a rusty pushbike gear.

But please believe that when I’m sad
It’s really not your fault.
Sometimes things aren’t fixable
With duck-tape or a bolt.

And if I’m quiet it doesn’t mean
That I’m pissed off with you.
It likely means I’m working out
Which thing is next to do.

I’m sorry that you bear the brunt
Of all my daily trials.
The moment you walk through the door
I go straight off the rails.

I know you want to make things right
When you tell me to calm down.
But all I hear is “silly girl,
“you’re wrong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong.”

And if I’m glum it doesn’t mean
I love you any less;
It means I trust enough to share
When I’m not at my best.

I’m not looking for solutions
Not asking for repairs
All I want is you to say,
“S’okay, I know, I care.”

I wish we had more time to chat
And didn’t waste it fighting,
Or even – whisper it – make love
(I still find you exciting).

You are a smashing, super dad:
You give the bestest cuddles.
You do the fun stuff with the kids
Swinging, sliding, puddles
(when mum says no because they’ve got their smart shoes on).

So what I mean to say is “thanks”
(sorry for the rambling pome).
You are the thing that makes me smile
Each day when you come home.



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